Jim and Barbara Cullins' son Joshua, a Marine Corps reservist, was killed Oct. 18 by a bomb in Afghanistan. "When we talked, he'd say, 'If I don't come back, it's not your fault,' "Jim Cullins said. "He said it every time I talked to him. He'd say, 'It's very dangerous.'" (Francine Orr / Los Angeles Times / October 26, 2010)

He was only two days away from being reassigned to a base camp administrative job after spending six months in Afghanistan disarming roadside bombs.

"Wouldn't it suck if something happens in the next few days?" Marine Corps Reserve Staff Sgt. Joshua Cullins e-mailed his 16-year-old brother, Donovan, two weekends ago.

Cullins, a 28-year-old officer with the Los Angeles Police Department, was killed Oct. 18 when a secondary bomb exploded while he was investigating an earlier blast near Marja, in Afghanistan's dangerous Helmand province.

On Tuesday, Cullins' parents sat on the patio of their Simi Valley home and recalled how their son realized that he had one of the most dangerous jobs on Earth.

"When we talked, he'd say, 'If I don't come back, it's not your fault,'" said his father, Jim. "He said it every time I talked to him. He'd say, 'It's very dangerous.' He pre-set me."

Cullins had already pulled two tours of duty with the Marines and his second stint included bomb disposal work in Iraq and Afghanistan. He remained in the Marine Corps Reserve and had been earmarked for a desk job when he was called back to active duty in March and deployed to Afghanistan. He would be safe, he told his parents, adding, "I'll probably be bored out of my mind."

But soon after arriving there, he told his parents there had been a change of plans.

"Before we even had an address for him, he called us and said that they'd lost a few explosive ordnance disposal guys in the field and they needed him," said his mother, Barbara.

"The major gave him a couple of chances to reconsider.... I think he would have been just as dead as he is now if he'd stayed [in the desk job] because he would have constantly wondered what it would have been like if he'd gone."

Last week, the explosives expert who was scheduled to take Cullins' place on the disposal team had already arrived and was waiting to get to work. "He was this close - two days," Barbara Cullins said of her son.

She said she had been fearful for his safety because the Afghanistan terrain was too rugged for Marines to travel in a specially armored bomb disposal truck like they had used in Iraq. Because of the bulky equipment Marines carry, they could not wear protective blast suits, she said.

The Cullinses said their son was always highly focused when he set out to do something. While in the Los Angeles Police Academy, he practiced "taking down and handcuffing" brothers Donovan and Cooper, 12, in the family home's hallway.

He was counting on his Marine ordnance disposal expertise to win him a spot on the LAPD's bomb squad after his tour of duty. After that, he wanted to save his money, buy a house and raise a family, his parents said.

They said a music video titled "Welcome Home" and a visual get-well card produced by police officers after a July explosion injured Cullins lifted his spirits.

"He was so humbled by it. He said, 'It's not about me - it's about everyone here,'" his mother said.

"The good thing is Josh got to see how many people appreciate what he was doing," his father added.

The couple said their son's remains are expected to arrive in Los Angeles on Thursday. A vigil will be held next Tuesday at the LAPD headquarters downtown and services will be held Nov. 3 at the Cathedral of Our Lady of the Angels. Burial will follow in Simi Valley.